I'M FINE STOP LOOKING FOR ME

BUT I'M NEVER COMING BACK.

!!!!!!!

I'm just excited for this life to end and our NEW life to begin.

I'll be patient promise.

xoxoxo

Romeo?

Last night, I could SWEAR there was someone at my window.

Was it you, my Romeo?

to my dearest b.

happy birthday my love.

today's your birthday...

and you're not here.

we're together but not together.

I've got an idea for your bday prezzie, tho.

I hope you'll like it. ;)

promises

is a promise a promise if its not kept in time?

Wishing the future was sooner than we think.

Tick...tick...tick...

I just woke up.

That's what happens when you get home at 9am.

You know what else happens when you get home at 9am?

You get grounded.

Soon it won't be a problem.

Counting the seconds..............until I'm gone.

I'm not looking for what you're looking for but if I was you'd be the first to know I swear.

I'm not totally into music. I mean, I LOVE music but I'm not into it like my friend C. is. She lives for it - and makes fun of my Katy Perry obsession. But I like who I like.

Kinda like I love who I love.

The title is from this band that C. likes. It's not like, my favorite but there's something about it.

The weekend was amazing. We're figuring out a way to be together. Like, Happily Ever After stuff. Scary, wonderful.......I'm on the edge of something that will change my life forever.

WE'RE on the edge of something that will change OUR lives forever.

It involves leaving behind everything and everyone I've ever known, except for my True Love.

But isn't that the point of star-crossed lovers?

CRAAAAAAAAAZY.

That's what my friends are driving me. I know they mean well. I KNOW.

I want to tell them.

B says not yet.  But soon.

Soon means everything we've talked about, everything I've dreamed of.........is going to happen.

I wish soon meant now.

He says I need to spend more time with my friends. But I miss him too much. The time we get to spend together is ALREADY too short. And I want to tell them.

See the prob?

Sunday's School.

I lied to my parents yesterday.

It's a sin. A big one. I went to enough Sunday School to know that.

I don't want to lie to them.

But the reason, the reason is good. And real. And true. He says I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. He says I'm the one. He says I'm his sunshine.

That's not a lie.

And soon, I won't have to.

Part Two....

The story starts here.

My great-aunt Lurleen (RIP) used to says what's meant to be is meant to be and there ain't nothin' that'll get in the way of that. I'm pretty sure she didn't make that up, but I'm also pretty sure that she was right.

There were days that I'd look out my window of my (perfectly nice) room in my (perfectly nice) house where I lived with my (perfectly nice) family and just feel trapped. Feeling like I was meant to be more than this, there was something bigger out there. But I couldn't move. Like an animal stuck on the highway between two lanes of traffic, knowing that they can't stay there forever but any movement is certain death.....

....But then he showed up. I didn't know it was a life preserver at the time, but he kept me from drowning.

The tow truck came and I thanked him and he smiled and I knew there was something there. He asked if he could call me sometime and I wrote my number with a purple pen on his palm.

The next day he called.

What's meant to be is meant to be and there ain't nothin' that'll get in the way of that.

NOTHING.

Can't sleep.

Just got off the phone with B. We never get to talk for longer than a couple of minutes. Tonite we talked for an hour. It was so hard to say goodbye.

I know that I promised the rest of the story. Soon. Really. I have to write this down because it doesn't seem real unless I do.

Where we met.

Since I can't talk to my friends about this, I'm talking to you, Internet. Weird, I KNOW. But, there's something kinda awesome about putting it out there, knowing that you don't know who I am.

I was having a terrible day. TERRIBLE. My jeep broke down and my cell battery was D-E-A-D not to mention it was a MILLION DEGREES OUT (thanx, Texas) and I hadto walk and I was wearing my new wedges and there was NO way that way happening. So I took them off and walked barefoot so you can only imagine how melty and gross with dirty feet I was?

Basically, a MESS.

So this man stops his car and asks if that was my broke-down jeep a ways back. I say yes. He offers to give me a lift to the nearest gas station up the road but I'm not an idiot, right? He laughs when I say he could be a killer because he basically looks like someone's dad (but not, like, as old as my dad. Again, that would be gross.)

I tell him that's how killers get you! He laughs again and offers me his cell phone which I take and make a phone call.

...Part two....TOMORROW. ;)

Last night.

Was a hot and a yes. ;)

Hate this.

C. just texted me. Wants to know if I wanna hang out tonite.

Waiting to hear from B.

Can't call. Can't text. Which is funny, considering where he leaves me notes.

What happens?

When the biggest deal in your life is something that you can't tell anyone?

Writing here cuz I can't talk to my friends about this. I know I should be able to tell C anything - ANYTHING - but this is different.

I think I love him.

This is between you & me, internet.

Cross your heart and hope to die.